At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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