If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
