I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
