If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
