oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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