Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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