is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
