Someone shit on the floor
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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