good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
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