I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
