Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
