Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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