My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize