So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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