dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
