the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
