Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize