Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
