Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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