Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
