They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I don't deserve a penis
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
