handjob tips. give me some.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
