you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
