I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
