I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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