Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
