I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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