What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize