Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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