yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
