The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
