she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I love having hate sex.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
