Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
