How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
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