It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize