whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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