Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
