Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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