I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
