He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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