im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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