I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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