North Korea, Best Korea!
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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