You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
