It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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