Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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