do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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