So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I stole a fireplace last night.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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