Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
