This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
