He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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