why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
