I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
