Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
