after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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