Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
