So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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