Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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