I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
