You're so nebulous sometimes
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize