Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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