You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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