No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i've created a new STD.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
