so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
