The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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