Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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