"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
