i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
she pinky promised me she was 18
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
