Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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