Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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