Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
