Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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